Dear David

Over the past several months PACER Center has been partnering with the General Mills brand Green Giant to develop The We Will Generation which will be available to schools this year. In working with us on this project the Green Giant team also wanted to create a program for parents to help them find a way to talk to their children about bullying. This program is called “Raise A Giant” and comes to life through letters written by parents to their children. I’m asking you to help bring this movement to life by writing a letter for the Raise A Giant movement and then sharing it with others to inspire them to write one as well. The letter that I wrote to my 17-year-old son David is posted on-line and copied below.

I hope to see your letter on www.raiseagiant.com this October!

Dear David, Long before you or your sisters were born, I had dreams of what I wanted for my children. My dreams for all of you were really quite simple – no five-bedroom house by the lake complete with a pontoon and matching jet skis. (Don’t get me wrong, if you do have a house like that I will definitely come to visit!) No, my dreams were more about who you would become as individuals and what your footprint on the planet would be. There were two things I wanted for you: First, that you would be good citizens of the world, and second, that you would be happy. I know what you’re thinking. You probably have that big grin on your face, the one you get when things don’t make much sense. “Good citizens of the world? What does that even mean?” Well, David, for me it means that you will give back to the world more than you take. It means that your actions will have a positive influence on the lives of others. It means that living is more about what you do for others than what you do for yourself. As for "happy," well that doesn’t mean you need to pursue a career in comedy or laugh out loud all day long. For me, being happy means that you appreciate who you are, that you believe in the choices that you’ve made, that you won't mourn what you don't have, but you will take the time to recognize all that is good in your life and celebrate it. For me your happiness is about having the inner contentment and easy gratitude that comes from surrounding yourself with people who care about you and accept you just the way you are. David, if anyone deserves to be happy it is you. You have been through so much in your 17 years, much more than any child should ever have to endure – through open heart surgeries and that breathing tube, through all of the poking and prodding and countless medical procedures. Through every single tragedy you just keep on smiling. I never have to wonder. From the light in your eyes to ever present mail, when you look at me and say, "Happy!" there is no doubt in my mind that the goal has been achieved. But you need to know that I will never take that happiness for granted. I know that life has its challenges and your joy in life is always at risk. When you started school I knew you would be vulnerable. People can be intimidated by things they don’t understand, and I knew that others might not provide you with the same love and acceptance as your family. At the same time, I believed that your innate joy of life would be a magnet that attracted others, that there would be good people in your life who would be inspired to act on your behalf. As for that second dream, to me your life is the very definition of good citizenship. Soon after you were born and we first learned about your disability, there was so much we didn't understand. When I shared the news with my mom, she just looked at me in her kind way and offered a knowing perspective that has stayed with me forever: “Julie,” she said, "every life has meaning." I admire the way you live your life David, the way you unconditionally accept everyone you meet, the way you wake up in the morning, pull back the curtains, and shout "Sun!” When I reflect on your goodness, that’s when I see the true meaning of your life. You just have this amazing way of bringing out the best in people, of making them smile with you, of touching something inside of them that others cannot reach. You have a way of helping them become good citizens of the world, too. Maybe it's because they, like me, can look beyond the barriers of what you aren’t and see the incredible reality of who you are. Maybe they grasp the innocence of your individuality, and admire the way you are willing to share your enthusiasm, your joy, and your happiness with those around you. So David, it looks like we just might have accomplished my two big dreams. Would it be OK if we added a third one to the list? Or maybe we can start a whole new list and put this big dream right at the top. Either way, my dream is that people everywhere will learn what you have already put into practice, that they will discover that differences are the norm, not the exception. When you can acknowledge the differences, you are more likely to find what you have in common. Like your grandma said, people need to know that every life has meaning, and your life reminds us each day that no matter who we are, no matter what we look like, no matter how we act, that we all have something of importance to offer the world. Sweet Dreams, Mom