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The Not So Obvious Aspect of Cyberbullying


Special thank you to Amanda Sparks for sharing this excerpt from an article in which she explores the not so obvious nuances of how young people use seemingly innocent language as a covert opportunity to hurt, harm or humiliate someone.

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● Come join our private Facebook group!

● Hey! Check out Danny’s cool new shoes!

● I just wanted to let you know that Joseph really likes you!

● Hi! It’s me Jennifer! I sit across from you in the Commons. Please accept my friend request.

For most kids, these messages could be taken as sincere requests and comments from friends or classmates.

Unfortunately, what many parents, teachers, administrators, even law enforcement officers don’t realize is that seemingly honest phrases or inventions can have malicious intent.

While name calling, harassing, and making threats are still used to commit cyberbullying, it often comes in more insidious forms. For example, someone may friend their target on social media, and then start a conversation via text or chat with them. They’ll be friendly, ask lots of questions, and show what seems to be a genuine interest in pursuing a friendship. However, their real goal is to collect personal and potentially embarrassing information that they will post publicly in order to humiliate their target.

In other cases, targets are invited to join private groups. Unfortunately, if they do join, they quickly realize that the group was created solely to mock and make fun of them.

Cyberbullying can also be difficult to identify, because those who bully often speak in code. This gives them plausible deniability. For example, rather than posting that their target wears nice clothing, someone bullying may issue an underhanded compliment, ‘That sweater is soooo pretty. I sure wish the charity box at my church had nice things like that.’ They can them claim that they were simply offering a compliment.

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DIRECTOR's NOTE: Amanda's essay highlights that the importance that we as adults recognize the potential for young socially savvy individuals to cover their not-so-innocent intent with socially acceptable language, which allows bullying to occur right in front of adults without it being overtly recognized as inappropriate behavior. It's important to look behind the words and at the intent and the outcome.

AMANDA's BIO: Amanda Sparks, pro writer, and editor at Essay Supply, lifestyle writer at Huffington Post. I am fancy doing perfect things for this perfect world and help people make their life easier with my lifestyle tips

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